losesbest | practice [001]

[THIS DISPLEASES THE RANI]

Who are you and how did you establish this connection?

[Have a very smug looking wave. How a wave can be smug we don't know, but the Master's gone and done it.]

Details, details. But! While I have your attention, it's a good job, don't you think?

[You look a bit familiar, but you know what, we're just going to ignore that for a moment.]

[How one person can be so infuriating, she'll never know. This one reminds her of a former friend, but that's not important.]

Good enough for a human, I suppose.

[A loooooot of contempt put on that word there. Stupid humans.]

[Oh, hell naw. You did not just go there. A very put upon sigh here, and he stops leaning quite so far back in his swivel chair.]

Oh, give me some credit, won't you?

[That contempt combined with that appearance is ringing some bells, though. Have a head tilt.]

Actually, just a moment! Do I know you? Humans can look so alike, sometimes.

[Hell yeah, I did. But now she's offended.]

Fine, you can have credit for contacting my machine. Congratulations. But I will have you know, I am not to be counted among that species of filthy, disrespectful apes.

[Ding. Got it now. Thanks for playing.]

Well, well. About time you showed up.

[Head shake. A bit smug, as always. And a bit of a laugh involved, too.]

What kept you?

About time?! Of all the--

[The arrogance is too similar. A bit more over the top than she's used to and all the more annoying. She's got his number now.]

Perhaps it was your new face and unimproved attitude.

[Finally you caught up. He was beginning to worry. See this? This is totally how worried looks.]

And you don't seem to have changed at all.

At least it shows how well I conserve my regenerations unlike he who dies again and again but always manages to return. You're like a cockroach.

[e y e r o l l]

Not very imaginative, though. You have to admit! Still in the same shape, after all this time. You're just a throwback at this point.

Maybe I happen to like this face. [She sniffs and forces down the offense taken, the only sign she was affected by his remark is the colder tone. Hope you brought your jumper and heavy coat.]

One of these days you won't be able to evade death, I hope you realise that. Now begone from my TARDIS's monitor, I won't be drawn into whatever foolish scheme you've prepared this time.

I suppose you could do worse. [Brr, did it just get colder in here?]

Oh, I'm very sure of that, make no mistake.

Really? So soon? And we have so much catching up to do.

Then why haven't you already?

[She vanishes for a moment as she goes to handle some of the controls easily. When she next speaks, she's still off-screen.]

Yes, "so soon". I have better ways to spend my time. I have a planet to run, experiments to hold, Time Lords to ignore. Really, watching a Judoon pick its nose would be time better spent than talking to you.

And leave the universe in this state? Please. That would just be barbaric!

[He's rummaging in his desk for sweets. Finds the jelly beans and starts popping them into his mouth.]

No, no, I suppose there's a point. [nom!] I'm sure mixing chemicals together like children's paint has some value. Don't you think?

As if it would be worse off without you? You flatter yourself.

[She finally comes back on-screen, but she's tending to something against the wall of the console room that looks suspiciously like a Venus fly trap.]

Perhaps that's what you do in your spare time, but perhaps you've forgotten that chemistry is much more than finding the precise combination of materials to achieve a desired result. Or would you prefer I demonstrate a newer experiment I've been working on? I'm sure you'd make a wonderful lab rat.

Of course, it's not exactly flattery if it's true, now is it?

[More jelly bean nomming going on. His feet are still kicked up on the desk. He tilts his at the plant, then resumes being a total arse.]

I don't know, green isn't really my color. [nom - grimace.] Ugh. Apple flavored. [But back to you.]

Still! Let's see what you've been up to while everyone's scurried off. [Pause.] Or did you not know?

You're the only one that believes it to be true.

[She vanishes again to check on some other things and ignore his jelly bean analysis.]

Not know? You must fail to comprehend how fast news travels around the galaxies. How could the destruction of two planets miss my ears?

Maybe. But not for long, no, I don't think.

[s h r u g.]

Given how out of date those ears are? Wouldn't surprise me at all if you didn't.

[She came back in view of the camera in time for it to catch her eyeroll. The Rani is not impressed.]

Well, I did. I'm disappointed you weren't caught in the crossfire with the rest. One less pestering gnat to interfere in my work.

[Nom.]

Terrible, isn't it, setting expectations. Especially ones you have to know aren't going to be met. [Nom] Even your finicky little equations can't solve for that, now can they?

Take-away, really? In your position back then I'd have thought you had a personal chef, or something to that effect.

[His feet are off the desk, but he's still leaning back in the chair.]

Might be one of those around here somewhere. Or there used to be. Something like that. Hardly matters!

[Smile, almost like he means it.]

No harm in taking in some local color, don't you think?

Since when did you go for take-away?

[Oh! There you are. Straightens his tie a bit.]

Can't expect me to rely on a personal chef all the time, can you?

Well, yeah, but I wouldn't've thought it'd be your style, really, eating chips out of newspaper or greasy curries out of tinfoil boxes. Then again, given your taste in telly...

[Hand to temple. onetwothreefour. onetwothreefour. But he still looks largely relaxed.]

Oh, no. You've found out my terrible secret. Whatever will I do?

Watch out for tomorrow's trashy headlines, I imagine, they'd be all over this. "Respected politician's secret love affair with junk food"...

Not very exciting, though, is it? I'm sure there's bigger stories just waiting to be ran into the ground, don't you think?

Have you seen some of the stories they cover in those magazines?

I don't know, it doesn't mention a pop star's potential pregnancy nearly enough.

If it's not kids, it's their weight. Practically guaranteed to be. [ and this is what he has to show for his exposure to Rose and Donna. ]

Ah, but you've overlooked the break ups. [The Master has a weakness for crap telly, what can he say.]

And you've paid attention to them.

[onetwothreefour.]

Or! I could just have noticed a pattern. Really, is that so difficult to comprehend?

[Plus, it's always good to know how to work the media. Makes for good distraction that way, Mr. Don't You Think She Looks Tired.]

Oh yeah, you and your patterns. [ flat. maybe even a little unimpressed at face value, but there's something a little too off about it to really be that. ]

Once you look, really look, they never actually go away. [Of course they're still just talking about patterns. What else could it be?]

[ nothing else at all, of course. ] Really? I never noticed.

[Nothing to see here, move along, move along.] Not that hard to miss, is it?

[he's giving you an adress. Sounds like London.]

If you're for Chinese, that is.

Oh, I don't see why not.

Have fun with that, then.

[Not like he's got anything else to talk about with you.]

I'm very sure I will.

[Not like he's actually going to use it.]

[Such a shame. Ten people got food poisoning there. One of them died, if he remembers that right. And you should become a missing person, or at the very least step on a lego.

He cuts the connection. Nothing more to say to you.]

practice [001]

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